Why You Shouldn't Care What Anybody Else Thinks

It came to my attention this week that I started to worry about what people were thinking of me everytime I did something.

I always thought I was the type of person who didn't care what people thought about me, but it wasn't until I actually realised that I was trying to justify doing something that made me realise I am caring what people think of me.

And then I thought why?

Why am I so concerned about the opinion's of others when it doesn't actually matter. To put it into some contexts, I worry about the slightest things such as whether I should go to the gym, or not wanting to go on a night out but stay in instead.

The gym situation has only started happening recently, when I lost a lot of weight (unintentionally) and suddenly I felt conscious exercising in public.

At the time, I was going to the gym at least once a week, and suddenly I started worrying that every time someone would see me in the gym they might think I was overexercising because of an eating disorder. The main reason for going is a) get my money's worth and b) it makes me feel good.

Another situation was choosing to stay in whilst everyone else was going out, which I then thought would make me look boring. So I forced myself to go out and pretend I wanted to be there. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I do want to go out and I have a really good time, and these are the best nights out. But sometimes, especially in final year of university, I just want to stay in
and have some me-time, that's just how I am.

So when I tried to justify why I was so concerned about what others were thinking, I couldn't think of a reason why.

Everyone on this planet is an individual, whose into different things, looks differently, reacts differently, it's just natural.
So by worrying that others might not think the same way as you is silly and I am so fustrated with myself for even letting it get to me.

And that's when I knew I had to stop caring.

Suddenly, I started doing the things I wanted and not having to explain why I am doing them. If people wonder why, then that's their problem. Besides, curiosity is a human trait so I don't blame them for wondering why. It was hard at first but it's just one of those things we have to overcome.

But the thing that really stopped me from caring is the fact that they probably aren't thinking about what I'm doing or how I look. It's me overreacting and being paranoid.

And therefore, worrying about something thats unknown is not worth it.

So I guess my advice is the next time you worry what others think, ask yourself, do I care? Do they care? Probably not.
And do I want to do this or am I scared that if I don't, others may judge (but probably won't)?

 Just a little thought.

That New Year Post...

I know that every blogger does a new years post of some sort, but I like doing them as a personal reflection on 2015 and things to look forward to in 2016.

2015 has without a doubt been one of the most adventurous and life changing years.

I am definitely not the same person I was this time last year. I feel that I have done a lot of growing up.

My perspectives on life have also changed a lot.

Throughout the year, I have discovered who I really am and have become so much more independent. I let go of fear preventing me from taking chances, and ventured to America practically on my own for 3 months to live and work there.

Along the way I have met some incredible people, and also learnt that sometimes it is better to have a small amount of close people around you rather than a huge amount of friends who don't really know or care about you.

As deep as it sounds, I really have felt like my eyes have been opened and I am seeing life for what it really is.
Of course I am still young and still have many more lessons to learn, but this year has been a real turning point in my life.

I look forward to 2016 where big changes will happen.

For starters, I will graduate university hopefully, and embark on my career path in London.
I also plan to travel more, hopefully around the west coast of America. I realised that family has become a big importance in my life, and I hope to spend more time with them.

Around this time last year I wrote a post of my new years resolutions. Looking back on it, I have actually managed to achieve most of the points on there. These include:

- Travelling: I have been lucky enough to see Barcelona, New York, Savannah, Hilton Head Island, Charleston, Florida, Liverpool, Birmingham, Disneyland Paris and various places in the UK. Not too Bad!

- Seeing my favourite artists in concert: I definitely did go see One Direction's last tour for a while, and really enjoyed it!

- Become Healthier: Mentally I have become healthier, however I am still aiming to get there physically. I've learnt a lot about my body this year and had a bit of a health scare, so looking after my body next year is a priority.

- Grabbing more opportunties: I've definitely fulfilled this one. I have driven in the USA for the first time, flown to NYC by myself for the first time, managed to secure an internship for 2016, finally got a tattoo, accepted a job working at Disney in the summer and many other small things like trying different foods, that can really make a big difference.

- Regularly updating this blog: So there was a little pause during summer because I was so busy but overall, I've not done too bad.

- Learn a new language: Ok so I didn't manage this one, but to be fair I haven't had the time.

- Finally, Spend my hard earned money from last year: I definitely accomplished this one!

To summarise this post, my advice to anyone out there is take the motto 'life's too short' seriously and grab every opportunity you can.

This may not necessarily mean saying yes to everyone or thing because of this 'FOMO' thing. It's more about choosing which opportunities you are really gonna benefit from and most importantly, enjoy.

The only way we can learn who we truly are is if we gain life experiences that develop us as people. I think taking the time to evaluate what you want in life, rather than what other people want from you in life is something all of us can benefit from.

On that note, I wish you all a healthy and happy new year!

FOMO, the new YOLO? Not quite...

This week's blog post comes from me watching a video about FOMO. No it's not the new YOLO, but it stands for the 'Fear of Missing Out'.

The video I watched was Ingrid Nilsen's youtube video which I will link below for you. I watched it and thought, I totally relate to this feeling. Coming from a family where I am the youngest, I have two older sisters. We are all completely different which is a really good thing. However, it does mean there has always been a thought in the back of my mind of having to be like them, have done the things they did and there is some expectations to be like them. Of course, these expectations have only come from myself, not from other people, but it still makes this FOMO feeling relevant.

I am a quiet, yet outgoing person. Basically I'm both, I enjoy going to parties, going out clubbing, visiting friends and meeting new people. However, I also enjoy my own company and nights in where I put on a cheesy movie or have a cup of tea with only my own thoughts. I don't think this is at all a bad thing, but I always think it is when I choose me time over social time.

This didn't become apparent until I came to university. During sixth form, I focused on A levels and getting good grades so it didn't bother me that I wasn't very sociable, as I felt I had an excuse for it. 

In first year I went out 2-3 times a week and loved it. I partied hard! I met so many new people and felt like I was really making the most of the university lifestyle. Second year, things changed. I suddenly started to prefer nights in over nights out. Now most people in second year do wind down a bit and crack on with work, but recently I chose to have a night in my house all by myself whilst all my housemates went out, and I felt so guilty about it. And I shouldn't have felt guilty about it at all. I feel like I had to justify to myself and others about wanting to stay in by myself, and I made up excuses to people when they asked why I wasn't coming out.

Then after watching this video, I realised that its completely fine to want to do what you want to do. Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn't make it fun for you and doesn't make it the right thing to do. Everyone is different, people who constantly go to parties and are surrounded by friends enjoy the feeling of constantly being surrounded by friends and prefer this, whereas others enjoy times where they can reflect on life and connect to themselves. It sounds deep and like some sort of meditation ritual, but I believe being alone is important for a healthy mindset and wellbeing for me personally. There will come a time when there is no one around to socialise with because they are busy or preoccupied, and people who constantly have company may struggle. But then they are usually the type of person that seek comfort from others, whereas some people prefer to be left alone. It's all about individuality and it is not helped that some people are judgemental over they way other people are (only a small minority).

My advice is to ignore it. Do what you want to do. Like the phrase YOLO, I would rather have spent my life being happy doing something I wanted to do, rather than forcing myself to try and like doing something else.

After staying in by myself, I felt content watching TV and having a cup of tea to myself. The guilt went away and the next time I want to stay in, I will. There will always be people who have so many friends and are constantly surrounded by people, and doing things with a different person each day. But I like the fact I have a small amount of friends that are true friends and I have a balance between seeing them and spending time by myself. 

Next time you have a decision and you prefer the 'staying in scenario', then do it! Your friends won't mind one bit and you get to be happy with your decision.