This week's blog post comes from me watching a video about FOMO. No it's not the new YOLO, but it stands for the 'Fear of Missing Out'.
The video I watched was Ingrid Nilsen's youtube video which I will link below for you. I watched it and thought, I totally relate to this feeling. Coming from a family where I am the youngest, I have two older sisters. We are all completely different which is a really good thing. However, it does mean there has always been a thought in the back of my mind of having to be like them, have done the things they did and there is some expectations to be like them. Of course, these expectations have only come from myself, not from other people, but it still makes this FOMO feeling relevant.
I am a quiet, yet outgoing person. Basically I'm both, I enjoy going to parties, going out clubbing, visiting friends and meeting new people. However, I also enjoy my own company and nights in where I put on a cheesy movie or have a cup of tea with only my own thoughts. I don't think this is at all a bad thing, but I always think it is when I choose me time over social time.
This didn't become apparent until I came to university. During sixth form, I focused on A levels and getting good grades so it didn't bother me that I wasn't very sociable, as I felt I had an excuse for it.
In first year I went out 2-3 times a week and loved it. I partied hard! I met so many new people and felt like I was really making the most of the university lifestyle. Second year, things changed. I suddenly started to prefer nights in over nights out. Now most people in second year do wind down a bit and crack on with work, but recently I chose to have a night in my house all by myself whilst all my housemates went out, and I felt so guilty about it. And I shouldn't have felt guilty about it at all. I feel like I had to justify to myself and others about wanting to stay in by myself, and I made up excuses to people when they asked why I wasn't coming out.
Then after watching this video, I realised that its completely fine to want to do what you want to do. Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn't make it fun for you and doesn't make it the right thing to do. Everyone is different, people who constantly go to parties and are surrounded by friends enjoy the feeling of constantly being surrounded by friends and prefer this, whereas others enjoy times where they can reflect on life and connect to themselves. It sounds deep and like some sort of meditation ritual, but I believe being alone is important for a healthy mindset and wellbeing for me personally. There will come a time when there is no one around to socialise with because they are busy or preoccupied, and people who constantly have company may struggle. But then they are usually the type of person that seek comfort from others, whereas some people prefer to be left alone. It's all about individuality and it is not helped that some people are judgemental over they way other people are (only a small minority).
My advice is to ignore it. Do what you want to do. Like the phrase YOLO, I would rather have spent my life being happy doing something I wanted to do, rather than forcing myself to try and like doing something else.
After staying in by myself, I felt content watching TV and having a cup of tea to myself. The guilt went away and the next time I want to stay in, I will. There will always be people who have so many friends and are constantly surrounded by people, and doing things with a different person each day. But I like the fact I have a small amount of friends that are true friends and I have a balance between seeing them and spending time by myself.
Next time you have a decision and you prefer the 'staying in scenario', then do it! Your friends won't mind one bit and you get to be happy with your decision.
No comments:
Post a Comment